Alone but not lonely
Today in my psychology of relationships class, we were talking about loneliness. It’s definitely a word that people see in a negative light, but I always thought being able to be alone was a really good thing. Yes, God created us to be in relationships, but solidarity can be a very spiritual and powerful thing. Being content with eating lunch by myself, or just going for a walk by myself is actually extremely rewarding for me because I know a lot of people who can’t handle it. They are in need of constant approval, or entertainment, or even just someone talking to them. Don’t get me wrong- I love people. I love spending time with people, eating with people, and laughing with people, but a lot of times I find that I regain a lot of my mental energy when I am alone. I have really been taking a long time to really think about whether I am lonely or not…I don’t think I am. I know we all get lonely at times, but even in a room of hundreds of people, anyone can be lonely.
The most painful punishment is said to be solitary confinement, and I am just wondering why? I can probably think of a few things that are a little more painful. I guess I can understand it a little bit though, because often my darkest moments and thoughts are experienced when I am alone. Leaving yourself alone with your own mind can be dangerous sometimes, as silly as that seems. Insecurities tend in intensify, and struggles become bigger than they really are when we are left alone to over analyze and magnify the issues we face, but that doesn’t make someone lonely. I know some people who are just shy and introverted, making them struggle with social situations, so spending time alone is a safety for them. I don’t consider myself to be that way, but with that said, I tend to chose being alone or with one person rather than a big group. I don’t think being lonely has anything to do with the amount of people around you. It’s really more like a “quality over quantity” thing. Having a good relationship with God, and having at least one person in my life that is there for me and loves me is enough to keep me from being lonely.
Luckily I am blessed with a lot more than that :-)
Man, that class really got me thinking lol.
New semester…and stuff :-)
Whoa, I can’t believe another semester has begun! I feel like so much has happened and changed since school was last in session. Even my school has been expanded and made new! This semester I want to set a theme for myself- “pursuit of happiness”. It might seem kind of cheesy, but I want to focus on what brings me joy and bring that same joy to others while still taking care of business. I feel like in past semesters I got so caught up in a busy schedule that I forgot to enjoy God and his blessings that I always take for granted. I am really trying to approach this semester with a positive attitude; ready to get the grades that I need, and focus on improving myself in all aspects.
Lately though, I have been reading a lot about relationships, and thinking more about what I want as far as having a Godly relationship with someone. I guess this is a good thing because I am taking psychology of relationships this semester. As I read more and more, I realize that as a woman, I should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find me. Forming a stronger relationship with Christ is what is going to prepare me to have a healthy relationship with someone else. The relationship should not be where I find my identity though and that is something I am realizing is very important. Finding it in God will lead to an outstanding relationship that is completely centered around God and end up being a beautiful thing…I hope.
I read a quote the other day that said, “whats the point of holding a woman’s hand if you can’t hold her heart?” A man should treat his woman with respect, kindness, and want to lift her up. A man should not chase after a woman’s hand, or any other part of her, but rather chase after her heart with authenticity. There is nothing better then a man who loves God more than he loves his woman- A man who not only makes her a better woman, but also brings her closer to Christ. Basically it all comes down to love, not saying that love is all a relationship needs, but if there is raw, unconditional love, its definitely a good foundation in my eyes.
I mean, as often as it is referred to, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says it all:
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance”
Another passage that I keep near to my heart when I think about a relationship I would want is Ecclesiastes 4:9-11:
“Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone?”
It is amazing to me how God designed us to desire and need companionship with one another. This verse just solidifies it in my mind how much God loves relationships. The question that then arises in my mind is…Do you just pick this person? Is it predetermined? I dont know. I am not really the type to believe that there is only one match for every person. I think the key is for both people to love God and that be the common factor that joins them together. Love is a lot of work, but the reward is so great.
Anyways those are my thoughts of the day. Haha Until next time….now its nap time :-)
Man, it’s been a while…
Hello blog!! Its been way too long since we have hung out! (i need to make more friends lol). In the last couple weeks, I’ve realized something interesting that I keep doing. I’ll write a tweet in the heat of a thought, or moment, then seconds later delete it and never publicly post it. Now some of you may think “whatever, you changed your mind”, but it’s actually a lot more than that. I think first off, I really am growing up and don’t want my life completely broadcasted to the world (or in this case the twitter world). More than that though, I really evaluate how I am feeling at that moment and realize that it’s not a rational state of being. I often get consumed with emotion and it stops my brain from working! It makes me think whatever is happening is the biggest deal in the world, which sometimes it might be… But I don’t find it satisfying to tell the world anymore. That’s just something I have grown out of I think. I used to just vent my life out to twitter when really I should just deal with what is going on…face on. Instead of tweeting about what is bothering me about someone, just go talk to them! Instead of tweeting about something I want to change about myself, why don’t I just get started on changing it? I guess it’s something that will come in time. It definitely makes my tweets a lot less entertaining and less annoying I’m sure haha. Anyways I think I’ll come back to blogging. It gives me some time to think about what I want to say and how I want to say it….
Well that was a long car ride…hope to write again soon even when I’m not on the way home from a trip :)
iRun
So I have decided that I am no longer going to be a girl who thinks about my struggles, but rather conquers them. I will choose to be honest, happy, and healthy. I will choose to be as alive as I can possibly be! For me, I felt like I needed to look at where I spend a lot of my time. When I did, running was a big one. Surprise, surprise haha. So I asked myself, why do I run?
iRun through days where I feel fat.iRun despite whoever loves me or not. iRun through the love of God. iRun despite being hurt. iRun through pain. iRun despite being told I can’t. iRun through regret and guilt. iRun through frustrations. iRun through lonliness. iRun despite the fear of failure. iRun through smiles and tears. iRun despite my body fighting me. iRun through joy! iRun through those amazing blissful days. iRun despite my dysfunctional family. iRun despite friends that come and go. iRun through my own feelings of self-doubt. iRun for Him and because of Him. iRun to live.
I could probably go on forever…. I guess I should say “thank you running”, for getting me through everything :)
Hebrews 12:11-13 “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.”
